Savoring

Silence. It won't last long.
Learning new things.
Discovering I LOVE playing the mandolin.
Time alone in the city.
Coffee. Alone in the city.
Lunch. Alone in the city.
Seattle.
New boots.
Finding contentment in my little house, with my little life.
I have everything I need.
A husband who fills up my love tank everyday so much that I really don't care what he does for me for Valentine's Day.

This song. I'm learning how to play it, and I'm like, totally proud of myself. I don't sound half bad. If you haven't seen this movie, you must put it in your Netflix queue immediately. SO powerful. A parent's nightmare, but as the wanderer...I really, really, get it.




What's feeding your soul these days?

In the moment

rolling pins
floured hands.
cookie dough. (eaten, that is)
valentine hearts.
blankets. snuggled under.
her feet on mine, dancing.
giggles.
twirls.
whispered secrets in my ear, of plans for a birthday party still 4 months off.
I can't tell you, but I can tell you it involves meatballs and butterflies.
fireplace alight.
stories told
hearts kindled.

I am savoring this moment, for I know how soon it will pass.

Emergent Growth

Spring is already in the air here in the Northwest, with the first tentative buds bulging on trees, and the tiniest shoots of green popping up in the garden. It's a tease of course, as Spring is every year here, it starts early, but fruition is a long time coming. We joke that summer starts July 5th in the Northwest, and seriously, it ain't no joke.

There are seed catalogs beginning to pile up on my counter, so far un-browsed, but beckoning. I look out at my raggedy garden, soaked, muddy, and most definitely dormant. The greenhouse plastic in tatters, my chicken coop long abandoned. I've long dreamed of turning our little 2 acres in the woods into a little self-sustaining farmette, a spiritual and creative retreat, if only with a tiny yurt or wall tent on our back lot for a sanctuary/yoga/writing/art/reading/prayer-hut. I could totally, totally make this happen.

So, why don't I? I mean besides the fact that I have 4 children, ages 4, 7, 9 and 11, and that motherhood and homemaking utterly and completely kicks my ass at times? Yes, I'm busy, just like everyone else is, and really who wants to hear that excuse from anyone? Yet, I excuse myself from my own dreams because of busy-ness all the time.

Today I was flipping through the latest copy of MaryJanesFarm magazine (You MUST check her out if you don't know her already) for some inspiration, and of course, I found it. But this quote completely knocked me out:

"Too often we balk at the very things that could give us the life we want. Too often, the fear that we're incapable causes us to make excuses.

'No time'

'No money'

'No clue how to use a circular saw.' [insert your own favorite tool or art supply here]

The obstacles seem great, the provisions slim. We talk about "making do." But that doesn't mean settling-it means expecting more and better from yourself."-MaryJane Butters.

YES! Amen, Amen, Amen! This life I dream of is unimaginably, tantalizingly, amazingly, and gratefully within arms reach. I am so thankful to be able to stay home with my children, to have all my needs taken care of, and to even have a little left over for fun and dream building. To have a husband who tolerates and even encourages all my dreams, and gives me an understanding grin with his eye roll when I tell him my latest plans, and always tells me to go for it. There's nothing standing in my way, except myself, my own fears of failure, (and of success) and yes, I'm afraid a wee bit of laziness too. Making that life happen will take a lot of good old fashioned hard work.

I really just need to put pen to paper, seed to soil, chick to coop, arse to cushion, heart to prayer and be ready to ask for lots and lots of help along the way to learn the things I don't know how to do already. But I CAN do it.

"You have everything you need to begin."

This was my chosen mantra when I took the Mondo Beyondo class last year. (highly recommended, by the way). This statement has been rattling around in my brain again lately. Perhaps it's seeing the light lingering in the sky a few minutes longer each evening, the aroma of Spring surprising me as I step out into the cold, damp air, but I'm feeling ready to grow again. I've been in a season of rest for several months, recovering from what I realized was several years of debilitating stress and health issues, rearranging my thought patterns, letting go of guilt and crazy expectations, accepting more and more of myself as I really am. I am so grateful that I live in a peaceful country, in a wonderful small town, with an amazing husband, and 4 really great kids. My life is full. I can take it any which way I choose. I really do have EVERYTHING I need to begin. I bet you do too.

I know what I want to do with it all. But, it's easy to get pulled away, lulled by screens, watching other people have all the adventures, or get lost in the fun of learning about it all, and forgetting to actually DO something.

Create, Engage, Connect, Grow.

That I can do.

What are you doing these days? What new ideas are incubating for you right now?

New and Improved...

Hello again Found Art Fans, welcome to my new (actually old) blog. I'm laying the lovely Found Art Project to rest, and returning to my original "L'il Bit Crunchy" format. After a long season of resting, restoring, hibernating, and incubating, I'm ready to get personal again. I've combined my old L'il Bit Crunchy blog and The Found Art Project into this new space, with my name out there loud and proud in the new url. If you have me bookmarked, please note the change in the web address above.

I'll be sharing personal photos, essays, good links, and general ramblings about living a creative, spirit- filled, forward-thinking, socially-engaged, home-centered, soul-nurturing, earth-saving life. You know, in a totally non-militant, not having to do it all, fly by the seat of your pants kind of way. And yes, all with little ones afoot. It's all good.

I hope you'll stay with me, and I thank each of you for being part of The Found Art Project, whether you sent me a submission or as a regular reader! I think you'll find we can still be good friends.

Join me as I get a wee bit more personal!

Stay tuned...

Ah, home again..

Haven't posted on this blog for a long time, but feeling the pull to get small, more connected with what's right in front of me. Just wanted to post a link to a very lovely new to me website, Rhythm of the Home I'm loving it!! Just what I'm needing right now. They're hosting a great giveaway right now on their blog. The new Winter edition of Rhythm of the Home is up right now! Check it out. I think you'll like it too.

Chasing Dreams

How To Be a Poet

BY WENDELL BERRY

(to remind myself)

i

Make a place to sit down.

Sit down. Be quiet.

You must depend upon

affection, reading, knowledge,

skill—more of each

than you have—inspiration,

work, growing older, patience,

for patience joins time

to eternity. Any readers

who like your poems,

doubt their judgment.

ii

Breathe with unconditional breath

the unconditioned air.

Shun electric wire.

Communicate slowly. Live

a three-dimensioned life;

stay away from screens.

Stay away from anything

that obscures the place it is in.

There are no unsacred places;

there are only sacred places

and desecrated places.

iii

Accept what comes from silence.

Make the best you can of it.

Of the little words that come

out of the silence, like prayers

prayed back to the one who prays,

make a poem that does not disturb

the silence from which it came.

Practice This

"A spirituality that is only private and self-absorbed, one devoid of an authentic political and social consciousness, does little to halt the suicidal juggernaut of history. On the other hand, an activism that is not purified by profound spiritual and psychological self-awareness and rooted in divine truth, wisdom, and compassion will only perpetuate the problem it is trying to solve, however righteous its intentions. When, however, the deepest and most grounded spiritual vision is married to a practical and pragmatic drive to transform all existing political, economic, and social institutions, a holy force - the power of wisdom and love in action - is born. This force I define as Sacred Activism."

- Andrew Harvey

And to that, I say a hearty Amen. I am so moved these days to get busy and DO something about the lack of deep spiritual teaching in our culture, the lack of real love between neighbors and people groups, the quick judgments, the apathy, the consumerism. And I know that all of those problems I see "out there" are actually lodged deeply in my own heart as well. And only when I see it, name it, and begin to move toward a more integrated way of living, when I can truly say I'm living out what I most deeply believe in, THAT'S when change can really happen.

I came across this list of Practice Ideas in a handout I received at the Awakening the Dreamer Symposium that I went to a few weeks ago. If you have a chance to go to this life changing presentation, GO.

Or, start here:

Daily Practices for Staying Awake:

• Designate a regular daily practice such as meditation, prayer or yoga
• Investigate and watch for examples of interconnectedness everywhere
• Consider and pay attention to dreams, daydreams and visions as possible messages from other dimensions of reality
• Let the wisdom of the Earth speak through you
• Change your conversations to be of possibility and inspiration to others
• Be compassionate and forgiving with yourself
• As a radical act: want less, buy less, use less
• Consciously read, listen, watch and engage with things that inspire you to Change the Dream [the current "dream"/nightmare the world finds itself in today]
• Breathe deeply
• Read one page of something that inspires you
• Attend a religious or spiritual group that is new to you
• Play with crayons
• Stretch your body
• Write down your dreams
• Take a nap
• Listen to someone older than you
• Hug a tree
• Write down 3 things you are grateful for
• Do nothing for one minute
• Build a fort with blankets
• Remember to play
• Don't answer the phone [or check your email]
• Write an answer to the question, "What is the purpose of my life?"
• Watch or read something that inspires you everyday
• Create spaces for authentic rituals in your life such as giving thanks for a new day
• Don't read your mail [or watch the news] for one day
• Smile at yourself in the mirror
• Take care about what you put in your mind and heart
• Turn off your TV
• Dream with friends
• Smile as your walk down the street

Who's in?

Trust the Call

What in your life is calling you?
When all the noise is silenced,
the meetings adjourned,
the lists laid aside,
and the wild iris blooms by itself
in the dark forest,
what still pulls on your soul?

In the silence between your heartbeats
hides a summons.
Do you hear it?
Name it, if you must,
or leave it forever nameless,
but why pretend it is not there?

-The Terma Collective,
"The Box: Remembering the Gift

Found in Creative Awakenings, Envisioning the Life of Your Dreams Through Art by Sheri Gaynor. Great book, amazing website.

I'm feeling very full of ideas just on the brink of fruition, full of inspiration and ideas, so many sometimes I don't know where to start. But I will start. I'll start by writing my 800 words a day again. Yoga 5 days a week, home practice include. I'll choose silence instead of noise, both internally and externally. I'll work toward a daily rhythm of grace, of gentleness, of doing the work of living and creating, loving, forgiving myself and others as we bumble along this path of life together. I'll listen to the inner yearnings and whispers that aren't exactly quiet anymore. I'll make plans (hopes, really), and move toward them gently, babysteps, being open to whatever surprises there might be on the way. To friendship, to real connection, to really living, right here, right now.

The divine Anna-Marie Still shared this wonderful photo and words to inspire you and those who will find it in your community. Are you trusting your dreams, your instincts, the tiny whispers? Are you trusting the fact that you, tiny as you are among all the universe, were created for just such a time as this? That only you can fulfill the purpose that is calling to you?

Trust. Move gently, and most assuredly toward your most sacred callings.



PS Danielle LaPorte is offering her unbelievably inspiring FireStarter Sessions e-book as a Buy One, Give One now through Friday, October 1st. You can go in 50/50 with a friend, or give one away as a gift to a friend or a stranger. What an amazing gift! If you are dreaming of growing a creative business, you MUST have this resource. I have it, and HIGHLY recommend it, and anything else that lady writes. Danielle LaPorte is someone you need to know. If you click here, you'll see what I mean.

Things I Learned On My Summer Vacation

1. 10 weeks with 4 kids under age 10 with you 24/7 can make one cranky. Especially when it rains for 5 of those 10 weeks.

2. Getting out in nature as often as possible with 4 kids under age 10 when they are with you 24/7 makes everyone happier, even (and especially) if its raining.

3. Losing a friend is really, really hard.

4. Having Shingles is a big a** bummer. Yep. Shingles, baby.

5. Feeling sorry for yourself on any level only makes it worse. When you pour yourself out, engage your soul in whatever is right in front of you, it changes everything for the better.

6. Meditation and prayer is really, really essential.

7. Reading feeds my soul.

8. I really, really have too much screen time going on in my house, and need to have as little as possible.

9. Avoiding housework makes me grumpy in the long run. Doing housework (or at least having done housework) cheers me up. Happiness really is found at the bottom of the laundry basket.

10. Comparison is a killer. Believing in my deepest soul whispers and longings is the way I'll find my true path.

Oh, and one more. I AM A SUPERHERO. So are you.

With that in mind, I was so excited when the scrumptious Rosa Murillo, mixed-media artist, shared this awesome, fun and inspiring drawing with us. Rosa says "the idea is that whoever finds it, would color it and cut it along the line and carry in their pockets. A little like a silly exercise in believing in the power of yourself." I hope each of you will print one for yourself and put it in your pocket, on your bathroom mirror, wherever you'll see it regularly and remember how amazing you are!

Check it out:

So tell me. What did YOU do on your summer vacation?

A New Beginning

So excited to announce that the new season of The Found Art Project will kick off this week! Now is the time to get your latest inspirational creation, photograph, short (very short) story or poetry in to be considered for distribution on The Found Art Flyer! Please check out the past Found Art Flyers to see the kinds of things that have been accepted in the past. Don't be shy to send things in! Yes, you're good enough, yes you are already an artist! Let's spread the love together!

I really can't do it without you.

I was SOOO excited when I was flipping through the pages of my favorite magazine MaryJanesFarm and lo and behold there was The Found Art Project featured in its pages! A little shout out, but oh so fun! If you've found your way here from Ms. MaryJane's pages, WELCOME! So glad to have you. I hope you'll stick around, the new season of The Found Art Project is going to be so much fun. Inspiration, Art, Words, Spirit and Community...does it get much better? (If you don't know MaryJane, and MaryJanesFarm magazine, you simply MUST check it out. If you're an artsy, crafty, green, garden-y, farm-y, sustainable crunchy type this is the magazine for you. You can find The Project on p. 16 of the Oct-Nov. Gratitude issue on newsstands now!

So excited to see your art offerings! Come on now, let's see whatcha got!

Longing

I find myself in a place of longing.

I long for deep connection and reverent solitude.

For time to study and write.

For newness and travel.

For kindness, compassion and heartfelt understanding

of other times, cultures and people.

I long for God, the Truth, and not just what we've made it.

To know the Truth and to live it out loud.

I long for lightness of being.

For guilt and compulsion to be gone forever.

I long for smiles and laughter.

For connection with the earth, with meaning and rituals and seasons.

For order and simplicity.

For passion and freedom.

For interesting friends and inspiration.

To know that I am enough.

To know that I have way more than enough.

For connection to the land, and to my spirit,

and to those I love the most.

To my body and nature, to the energy that connects us all.

For community and peace.

These are ramblings that are tumbling out in my journal as I have had a family tragedy this week. Our hearts are broken, as our family has lost our very much beloved Chocolate Lab. Though she had a good, long life, her passing was unexpected, and our family is in deep mourning over losing this sweet soul. If you'll forgive me for being a bit self-indulgent, today I'll only post this amazing drawing of our sweet girl, sketched by a good friend of ours last year. I'll be taking a bit of time off from posting as I tend our family's hearts, and we are also taking a long overdue family camping trip next week.

If you have a pet that you adore, please give it an extra dose of love and hugs tonight. They truly are angels sent from heaven.

Tess

March 8, 1999- July 21, 2010

We love you.

Found Art Friday, Needful vs. Needless

Hello lovelies. Hope you've all had a wonderful week! I've been enjoying a gloriously sunny and warm week of summer here in the Pacific Northwest, pool parties, new friends, campfires, wildflower bouquets, and lots of strawberries, among many other yummy things. I'm slowing down my writing schedule in favor of trying to squeeze out every drop of summer that I can. You never know how long it will last.

The wonderfully talented Melanie Martin sent me this mysterious photo, and it inspired so many things in me. Isn't it rather Harry Potter-esque? Like this could be the entry to a road that can only be seen by you or by invitation only? Magic might be just around the corner.

Then I started thinking along the lines of what Needless Alley might I be traveling on right now? As in, where am I wandering away from my true path? What is distracting me? What is simply wasting my time? What can I let go of in order to get back on track? And what IS my track anyway?

Then: What is need-FULL in my life? What is filling my well? Am I cultivating a lifestyle which nurtures my deepest loves, most heartfelt values and desires?

Then: the other kind of need. As in need vs. want. Remembering, that I really do live on "Needless Alley". All my true needs are filled, and if you're reading this, I'm willing to bet yours are too. And if not, I know for sure that you have everything you need to fill those needs yourself, and that you can get started right now. Let's remind everyone that they can too.




Where can you tuck this little morsel of inspiration into the world? I'd love hear your stories of how you've spread The Found Art Project love into your community.

Please remember that I'm always accepting submissions for inclusions in our Found Art Flyers. Don't be shy! I'd love to hear from you!

Smooches to all of you! Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Curiouser and Curiouser

I'm a curious girl these days. I've shared a little bit about the journey I've been on lately, and curiosity is a huge factor for me these days. Most of you probably don't know that I consider myself a recovering conservative (no offense to my conservative friends). And I wouldn't necessarily call myself "liberal" either. Or left or right, or blue or red for that matter. I am really, really curious about all these ways of being. I'm curious about the fact that whatever path one follows, everyone is looking for the same thing deep down. Love, acceptance, security, freedom, not necessarily in that order, give or take a few other things. We are all the same on the inside, even if you have to peel back many, many layers to find the similarities.

Many things, both positive and negative came together over a few years that lead to my awakening. And I do mean awakening. I was asleep to so many things. Mainly to the fact that I was hiding in my own personal worldview, which I admit was incredibly small. I felt safe when I was following all the rules handed to me by my church culture, my political party, and even the books and blogs in which I immersed myself. My tribe made me feel secure, as if I followed all their ways, I'd be guaranteed fulfillment, and my children would grow up to be model citizens. But when I really looked, it also made me feel small, boxed in, trapped, guilty.

Um, no thanks.

When I allowed myself to finally look up and around, away from the little patch of grass I'd been feeding on far too long, I couldn't believe the view! I kind of felt like this:

"’Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English). ’Now I’m opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!’ (for when she looked down at her feet they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off)." (Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland, Ch. 2)

Good-bye feet, indeed. Good-bye anchor, good-bye ball and chain belief systems. Now let me be clear. This is not a diatribe against my former worldview. I take full responsibility for letting my thoughts get so small. No one ever promised me the proverbial rose garden. I just wasn't taking responsibility for creating my own rose garden. I didn't know it was mine for the making. The thing is, I didn't know that I was allowed to change my views if I decided they weren't working. It came back to the thing it always comes back to: me, creating my own experiences. All of 'em.

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.” Albert Einstein

Holy curiosity. HOLY curiosity.

Yes, yes, yes.

I am so loving the view.

Here are a couple of books I can highly recommend if you're interested in having your world shaken up, and seeing what might happen next.




This book was a major, MAJOR factor in my very juicy, yummy unraveling. I cannot recommend this book highly enough, especially if you are a Christian or if you think Christians are the weirdest, most close minded people on the planet. This guy is a total Jesus freak, but in a good way. Jesus wasn't a Republican folks. Seriously.







This book is new to me, but it is splitting me open in such magical new ways its reach in my life cannot be predicted. I'm betting it will be in the life-changing category. To be sure, some of my old mates will find this book categorically "woo" at best, and at worst diabolically blasphemous. But may I gently suggest, we all lighten up a bit as the sumptuous Sera Beak encourages in this spiritual feast of a book. May I dare say its even a little bit sexy? Oh my! Yes, please!




Where are you shut down, or a bit too small in your thinking? Can you scootch out of your comfort zone a bit and see if there are other ways to be that might make your own world a bit more colorful, juicy or sexy? Are you letting yourself be colorful, juicy and sexy? I know this group of readers is all this and more. Let it all hang out, my beautiful readers. xoxo

Found Art Friday, Afternoon Edition

Hello par-tay people! Its Friday afternoon, and here in the USA its the big 4th of July celebration, which means a 3 day weekend for many of us! Can I get a big ole WOO-FREAKIN'-HOO!! For us, that means my super sexy husband will be building me my own personal deck outside of our bedroom, complete with double french doors, and a vintage clawfoot tub for outdoor bathing. I did mention I live in the woods, right? :) Aside from watching my mistah work the power tools, there will also be a slumber party, a campfire, a BBQ with friends, a small town parade, and a fireworks display. Yee-haw!

Anyhoo, here's a quote that's been working its magic on me lately. What do you think?

Says Joseph Campbell:

"...I thought anybody who worked for money was a fool. I took a vow never to do anything for money. Now, that doesn't mean that when I do something for somebody I don't ask for money. I want as much as I can get, but that's the secondary part of the game. My life course is absolutely indifferent to money. As a result, a lot of money has come in by my doing what I feel I want to do from the inside. If you do that, you are doing things that attract money, because you are giving life and life responds in the way of its counterpart in hard coin. If you follow your bliss, you will always have your bliss, money or not. If you follow money, you may lose it, and you will have nothing."

We've had some big financial ups and downs the past few years, and I can't lie and say that money isn't important. It obviously is. And many times, you just have to do what you have to do to make money to make ends meet. But aside from that, have you ever held back from doing what you love because you don't think you're good enough to get paid for it? Like you're not a real artist, photographer, writer, etc. if you're not a paid professional? I gave myself the biggest case of writer's block for about 2 years when I got it stuck in my head that I had to be published, writing fiction, getting paid, etc in order for it to be "worth it" to write at all. I read this quote and BAM! Major lightbulb moment. I remembered that its ok to write simply because I love it, not for anyone else, or for any other reason. And when I say I love it, I'll agree with Dorothy Parker who said "I hate writing, but I love having written." O_o But I digress.

Let's all try to remember what our real passions are, and make time to do them because we love them, and not feel like we have to prove ourselves worthy of our passions and desires first! You are worthy because you are a child of God, gifted with talents, kindness and a smile that is meant to be shared with the world.

With that said, I was t.h.r.i.l.l.e.d. when the amazing poet Donna Hilbert submitted this piece for The Project. I absolutely love the message, and I know you and the unsuspecting folks who will find this in the world will too.

Have fun and be safe this weekend. Pursue your passion, your bliss, and look for all the simple pleasures.

(PS Submit your stuff to The Project too! :)

Dabbling

I promise I won't just keep blabbing on and on about myself (or maybe I will, considering its a blog and all), but ai, ai, ai! A combination of a family visit, having the kiddos home full time and a major case of the hormones this week has completely kicked my creative arse. So, I thought I'd share these things with you, and see if they might resonate with you too. So without further ado:

5 Things I’m Dabbling In, am Curious About, and Trying out Just for Kicks and Grins:

Meditating:

This is something that kind of weirded me out forever. I come from a very traditional Christian background, and anything that smacked of “woo” was definitely frowned upon. But actually, most, if not all spiritual traditions have a strong foundation in meditation, in stillness, and contemplation. As you know, I went to a meditation retreat a few weeks ago, and it felt like coming home. You know that feeling of satisfaction when you slide the right puzzle pieces together and it thumps in together just right? Yeah, its like that. Its more challenging than you’d imagine, “just” sitting there breathing. But its changing me in many mysterious ways. I’m more calm, much more centered. I didn’t even really know what “centered” meant before, I just chalked it up to another “woo” word. But centered is good. Very, very good. As in, the opposite of scattered. I've just joined a local meditation group, and I'm happy to have found it.

Veganism:

I’m coining a phrase: Non-militant Vegan. That’s me. Which means cheating allowed. For now anyway. I have to approach any major change with the tiniest babysteps, and I have to allow myself to “cheat” at any time. Otherwise, I know I won’t try. For the last several years, I’ve started to have more and more weird, wonky health symptoms, digestive stuff, and I won’t get into the details, lest it be TMI, and we don’t know each other that well yet. After reading “The Kind Diet” , and loving it, I decided to try to reboot my system by eating super clean for 2 weeks. And what do you know? It totally worked. I feel really good, tummy issues gone, BAM. Now I’m a bit puzzled about what to do. Not sure if I want to ask my family to join me, but I don’t really want to cook a separate meal for myself all the time either. Hmmm…(advice welcome!)

Morning Pages:

This is something I’ve done in the past, and I always love it when I’m doing it, then eventually I stop for whatever reason. The wonderful, and always inspiring Julia Cameron recommends writing 3 long hand pages of writing first thing in the morning, a “brain dump” as she calls it. It is totally helping me keep the creative wheels spinning, and gives me room to pray, whine, hope and ruminate all over the page. Oh, and Moleskine. Best. Journal. Evah!


Twitter: I know, I know, I’m totally late to this party train. I’m amazed at how many amazingly awesome people are just right there to connect with, and I’m not talking about the famous ones. I’m talking about YOU, and all the other sparkly and brilliant people doing amazing things in their ordinary lives. I’m having fun connecting with my new tribe.

Anais Nin: Holy Moly! How did I miss her all these years? Yes, she's a complete and total liar, an unabashed lover of love, and “rules” be damned , but boy howdy do I ever like her. She’s just totally herself without apology. How very refreshing! And OH! The writing! Swoon.

Tell me, tell me, what is interesting you these days? What are you playing around with? How are you stretching your wings?

Found Art Friday, in Gratitude

Its Friday, can you believe it? Even more unbelievable to me is that the sun finally decided to show her sweet face in my neighborhood! Hooray! I know many of you have been dying of heat for the past several days, but we had the first day over 75 degrees in 271 days. *sigh* But, for all my complaining, I truly have my every need taken care of. For that I am so thankful.

This week's Found Art Flyer comes to you from my friend Stefanie Renee. We met when we shared a ride with the world's most awesome cab driver, Leo, on our way to Squam last September. We remained Squam BFF's for the weekend, and I'm so proud to call her my friend. Stefanie is an amazing photographer and is making some big leaps into her living her creative dreams. Please send her lots of love, courage and joy vibes as you post this amazing photo around your town.

And please do participate in The Project! Remember to print the flyer and tuck it into library books, leave it on the empty seat on the bus, post it on the community bulletin board. Anywhere you think someone would enjoy finding a little love note from the universe. And please, submit your own work to be featured! Any kind of visual art or short (very short) story will be considered. Just check out the submission guidelines to the right for the details.

We have family visiting from out of town right now, so today's post is short and sweet. Hope your weekend feels long and glorious! xoxo

Its All in the Numbers

I’m 38 and 1/4 years old, which means there’s only 1 year and 3/4s left until I’m 40. I’m trying not to let it bother me, but it does. I hope I have more time left than I’ve already been given. Much more. I’ve been the same size, 6 ½ shoe, 5’2 and approximately 105 pounds give or take a pound or two since I was 14, in the 8th grade. I’ve lived in 5 different states, at 17 different addresses. I’ve traveled to 47 states and 5 different countries. 3 boys have made me cry, and one has only ever made me smile. I’ve been married for 13 years, but really its 15. I’ve had 6 pregnancies, 4 children, ages 4,6, 8 and 10, 3 girls and 1 boy and 2 angels.

Growing up, I tried out for approximately 4 sports teams, and 1 cheerleading squad, making the team exactly zero times. I was a writer, a reader, a friend, an avid youth group attender, but an athlete I was not. I’ve kept a journal since I was in 4th grade, age 10 or so. There’s an unknown number of volumes, and they are kept in several different boxes scattered about my 1400 square foot, 3 bedroom house situated on 1.9 acres, approximately 30 miles East of Seattle. I’ve often thought of burning them, "the evidence", but I just can’t bring myself to do it. It’s who I was, how I got here, and it’s my story like it or not. I wish I could say it was more about my wishes and dreams, and less about the boys who’ve come and gone, (and one who’s stayed) but that would be a lie. More and more as I find my voice, the more I write, the more I connect, the less its about them, and more about me, about the world, about possibility, change and wonderment. It’s evidence that I was human through and through, in case my children ever need any proof. It’s proof that I was here. I’m here.

I had 20/20 vision last I checked, though I do sport the old lady reading glasses now and again these days, which make me feel chic, hip and old all at the same time. I think my style and power has been improving over the past few years so that’s encouraging at least. Or perhaps I’m just withdrawing from society’s ideals, so really I’m looking weirder and weirder, and no one is telling me anymore. I’m ok with that.

When I’m doing as I “should” I like to do yoga 4 or 5 days a week. I like to write every day and am doing so currently, but I expect to fall off the wagon soon, since its what I always do. But, I’m ok with that too. I’ve learned that another wagon is always just around the corner, and I can hop back on at any time. I like to pray to Jesus, and meditate to calm my mind that can be 100 different places at once until I count my breath to 10 over and over again for at least 10 minutes. I like to sleep about 9 or 10 hours a day, but really I only sleep about 8, which I’m thankful for, (having just come off of being pregnant and/or nursing for the last 10 years or so, with only a few months break here and there) but I’m always slightly tired. I like to take naps, but don’t,(not that often, anyway) but I have a rule that my children must take naps until they are 5 which helps me much more than them.

I yell at my children more often than I’d like to admit, which is not daily but more than weekly and is worse at certain times of the month than others. I think about, and fear death every day, not in a terrible morbid way, but as a passing thought, someday I won’t be here kind of way, and I feel sad because the world is really so very wonderful and I’ll miss it so.

I’m hoping for 5 but will settle for 3 mornings a week off from my 24/7 mothering duties in the fall, in which to write, do yoga and connect to myself and to God. And to put a dent in the several loads of laundry I need to do every week just to stay on top of it.

I want the number of books I’ve read to go from countless to even more countless. I want the number of books I’ve written to go from none to some, the number of countries I’ve visited from 5 to over 100, and the number of friends, both in real life and online to go from few to many. I want the number of minutes spent praying, writing, meditating, serving and loving to far outweigh the number of minutes I spend doing anything else.

I want the hours I spend being content each day to number 24.

5 Things

Its time I had a revealing talk with you about myself. I’m not exactly sure how to go about having a get to know you conversation in this rather one sided medium, so I’ll start with a list of 5.

5 Things I’m loving right now:

An incredible influx of new friends, both in real life, and online. This means you! It’s amazing what happens when you open your heart. For this introvert, it’s a brand new feeling of connection, possibility, community, and love. If you haven't said hi yet, find me on Facebook and/or Twitter!

Writing every day: I joined Bindu Wiles 215800 project which is a commitment to doing yoga 5 days a week, and writing 800 words everyday for 21 days. It only takes 21 days to make a habit . (Fingers crossed!) I’m loving learning that the time IS there if I only say yes to it. That words will come if I just start writing. That my family, “the universe” (aka God), and even you guys will support it! Hooray! I just had to sit down and DO it. Easy! (?)

Doing Yoga Everyday: Ditto above. I feel good, open, sore, and most of all really, really thankful to see that if I set my mind to DO something (not just wish or “should” myself) it totally happens. Actually, it is easy. What do you know, there’s time after all!

Listening to the rain as I fall asleep: I’m getting LOTS of practice with this one. This is one of the rainiest, coldest Spring/Summers that I can remember, and I live in SEATTLE, peeps, so that is saying something. I’m learning to practice being content with the weather and the lovely gifts it can bring, even whilst admittedly being grumpy about it. I’m practicing, not perfecting, remember? Anyhoo, I do love listening to the rain as it drizzles through the forest, knowing my dearest loves are all tucked in safe and sound nearby. I take the time to dream, to pray, to breathe in the silence.

Reading: I honestly wish I had a whole extra day at the end of each day in which to simply read. There are just so many amazing words and ideas, I wish I could just absorb them all. When I read, I can never only read one book at a time. I have a pile of at least 3 and often up to 10 or more going at one time. Currently, I have my eyes on: Mary Oliver, Anais Nin, David Sedaris, Anne Lamott, Karen Maezen Miller, and Joseph Campbell. There are many, many more that I can’t wait to get my hands on.

I wish I could sit across a table from each and every one of you, and learn what you're loving right now. I once heard someone say that it was his goal to meet every single person on the planet. Wouldn't that be interesting! I'd settle for meeting all of you. Tell me, what are you loving right now? Are you giving yourself permission to indulge in the things you love? Are you making time for them? I'd love to hear about what you're loving, either in the comments or leave a trackback to your blog.

Happy Monday everyone!

Found Art Friday, In Which We Remember to Play

I will not play at tug ' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war.
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug.
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

~Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

Hello everyone, and happiest of Fridays to you. Congratulations, you did it! You rocked your week, AGAIN. :) I love the poem above from Shel Silverstein. I love ALL the poems from Shel Silverstein. I remember curling up with Where the Sidewalk Ends in my little reading corner in my room, consisting of a giant bean bag chair, a couple dozen stuffed animals and a ginormous stuffed gorilla my dad gave me for Christmas one year. He was one of my earliest literary influences, (Shel Silverstein, not the ginormous gorilla, though he was a happy influence on me as well.) and I love that he is all about kindness, gentleness, compassion and play. I hope you will find lots of people to play hug o'war with this weekend!

I was so excited when I received this from the amazing Emma. Look at her awesome idea! She left it completely open to encourage us and those who find it to color and play. Her quote was "Coloring is Fun!", and she is totally right! How many places can you think of to tuck this little spark of joy-filled fun into your community for some unsuspecting souls to find?




This weekend, I encourage you to remember what made you feel cozy, loved, inspired and joyful when you were a child? Is there a way to find bits and pieces of those experiences today? Also, watch and see what really fills up the love-well of those around you. What makes THEM feel cozy, loved, inspired and joyful? Fill up your well, and then, once you're overflowing, spill some love on your favorite people too.

Have a wonderful weekend! And big love to all the dads out there!

See you Monday!

PS My son is feeling much better! Thank you for the all the kind wishes! :)

Night Duty

The sun rises early in Seattle these days. 3:45am to be exact. I know because at 3:07 am on Sunday morning my son crept into my room, croaking: “Momma…I can’t breathe,” followed by the low, raspy sounds that I’ve come to recognize at once as a mother. My son has Pneumonia. Again. It’s the 3^rd time this year. 4 years ago, his lungs were damaged from a bout with RSV, and his doctor warned us this would happen often. Someday, he’ll outgrow it.

But on that night, in that moment, my momma superpowers must return:

I calmly but purposefully get out of bed with amazing clarity of mind considering the hour, and am even able to find my bathrobe instantly amidst many loads of laundry left undone. I am able to find not just my bathrobe, but two…another to wrap my boy in as I whisk him outside into the cold, healing night air. I deftly grab his favorite blanket off the couch as we head out the door to sit on a small wooden bench on the back patio. We live well outside the city limits, and we are alone with the sounds of his wheezing, the darkness of the night hanging heavily in the air, and the miracle of a canopy of stars. We sit in silence for many moments, his breathing becoming normal, his body twisting awkwardly in my lap trying to get comfortable. He’s almost outgrown it.

“Mom, I can only see two stars,” he says. “Just wait”, I say, “Your eyes will get used to it, and you may have to look past the trees.” We live surrounded by the famed tall cedars of the northwest, and they cast a formidable shadow.

Soon, the magic of this moment is fully revealed. “Mom!” he rasps, “I see 4…5…6..!” He keeps counting until he realizes the futility of his effort. We revel in wonder as the night air continues to heal my boy, and open our hearts.

And then, almost imperceptibly, the first streak of dawn arrives. And instantly, magically, a bird sings the first melody of the day. Another calls back. And within moments the forest around us is wide awake. We get the feeling all the birds are frantically calling for each other, finding their friends, getting their bearings, making sure they are not alone.

My boy and I snuggle up tighter under the blanket for a few moments longer, both of us giggling at the thought of the birds talking to one another in such animated voices at such an ungodly hour. But, actually, “ungodly” is the furthest thing from the truth of this moment.

For now, my son is healed, breathing easy. We have seen the miracle of another day arrive, so early this time of year. And I am reminded of just how much of the magic of life I am sleeping through. To be honest, I can’t tell you with a straight face that I will ever adopt the practice of waking with the sun. (Except in December when the sun comes up at 8:00am.) But, in that moment, my son and I were totally and completely engaged with the ultimate NOW. The warmth of each other snuggled together under the handmade blanket, the smell of his hair mixed with nighttime forest air, the surprise of hidden stars, and the busy calls of the creatures who share our forest with us fill our souls with contentment not easily found in the light of day.

If I truly wake up, I’ll be able to see that every moment is just as magical as this. Miracles of life and breath, of abundance, of connection with souls I hold dear both near and far. The miracle of technology which allows you and I to “meet” each day, this internet that’s become our global water cooler, allowing us to find our tribe flung far and wide.

The magic is always there. When I turn my attention to those things that bring me peace, I am never disappointed to find that they are always there waiting for me to notice, to remember, to savor.

My eyes just have to get used to the light (and darkness) of each day.

Keep a special eye out today for the magic in your life. Find ways to bless someone when they least expect it.

Be the magic.