I'm a curious girl these days. I've shared a little bit about the journey I've been on lately, and curiosity is a huge factor for me these days. Most of you probably don't know that I consider myself a recovering conservative (no offense to my conservative friends). And I wouldn't necessarily call myself "liberal" either. Or left or right, or blue or red for that matter. I am really, really curious about all these ways of being. I'm curious about the fact that whatever path one follows, everyone is looking for the same thing deep down. Love, acceptance, security, freedom, not necessarily in that order, give or take a few other things. We are all the same on the inside, even if you have to peel back many, many layers to find the similarities.
Many things, both positive and negative came together over a few years that lead to my awakening. And I do mean awakening. I was asleep to so many things. Mainly to the fact that I was hiding in my own personal worldview, which I admit was incredibly small. I felt safe when I was following all the rules handed to me by my church culture, my political party, and even the books and blogs in which I immersed myself. My tribe made me feel secure, as if I followed all their ways, I'd be guaranteed fulfillment, and my children would grow up to be model citizens. But when I really looked, it also made me feel small, boxed in, trapped, guilty.
Um, no thanks.
When I allowed myself to finally look up and around, away from the little patch of grass I'd been feeding on far too long, I couldn't believe the view! I kind of felt like this:
"’Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English). ’Now I’m opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!’ (for when she looked down at her feet they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off)." (Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland, Ch. 2)
Good-bye feet, indeed. Good-bye anchor, good-bye ball and chain belief systems. Now let me be clear. This is not a diatribe against my former worldview. I take full responsibility for letting my thoughts get so small. No one ever promised me the proverbial rose garden. I just wasn't taking responsibility for creating my own rose garden. I didn't know it was mine for the making. The thing is, I didn't know that I was allowed to change my views if I decided they weren't working. It came back to the thing it always comes back to: me, creating my own experiences. All of 'em.
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.” Albert Einstein
Holy curiosity. HOLY curiosity.
Yes, yes, yes.
I am so loving the view.
Here are a couple of books I can highly recommend if you're interested in having your world shaken up, and seeing what might happen next.
This book was a major, MAJOR factor in my very juicy, yummy unraveling. I cannot recommend this book highly enough, especially if you are a Christian or if you think Christians are the weirdest, most close minded people on the planet. This guy is a total Jesus freak, but in a good way. Jesus wasn't a Republican folks. Seriously.
This book is new to me, but it is splitting me open in such magical new ways its reach in my life cannot be predicted. I'm betting it will be in the life-changing category. To be sure, some of my old mates will find this book categorically "woo" at best, and at worst diabolically blasphemous. But may I gently suggest, we all lighten up a bit as the sumptuous Sera Beak encourages in this spiritual feast of a book. May I dare say its even a little bit sexy? Oh my! Yes, please!
Where are you shut down, or a bit too small in your thinking? Can you scootch out of your comfort zone a bit and see if there are other ways to be that might make your own world a bit more colorful, juicy or sexy? Are you letting yourself be colorful, juicy and sexy? I know this group of readers is all this and more. Let it all hang out, my beautiful readers. xoxo